Yeah. I said it.
*DISCLAIMER*:This is being written out of sheer frustration.
We got a customer survey response back the other day and this is what it read(not verbatim, as i don't have it in front of me): Tips jars should be removed. I'm already paying $5 for my drink, I shouldn't have to tip on top of that.
It is my (and everyone else's) understanding that tipping is optional. We don't even have a place on a credit card receipt for you to add a tip on your card. Frankly, these tip jars are non-evasive. Is there some little elf running around biting your hand if it does not drop money in the tip jar? (I mean, if you are on certain drugs, maybe there is. In which case, it sounds like there is a deeper issue at hand than the presence of tip jars). I feel like the effort we put in to serving you, keeping the store clean, and cleaning up after you deserves at least a 15% tip. I mean really, just the other day we had to clean up poop off the men's room floor. I think there's a rule somewhere that states, "Thou shalt tip if thoust leaves an unwanted present on the bathroom floor". Do you know how hard I struggle not to put dirt in your cup when you are mean to me? That most certainly deserves a quarter. Or two.
So I started this off about how I'm writing this out of frustration. The frustration did not stem from that comment. No no, I simply laughed at that one. The frustration came from the 5 hours I worked today with fairly steady, even busy traffic most of the time I was there. What do I have to show for it? $3.79 in tips. Frankly, the amount of "Uuuuums" and drink remakes and indecision I dealt with should have gotten me at least $10 in tips. Sounds reasonable to me.
Next time you find yourself ordering a $7 drink, please stop and think about the amount of self-control it takes not to rub some dirt in your cup before handing it to you. Maybe then you'll find yourself tipping.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
So this is the new year?
I had to quote Death Cab for a minute there. They are currently playing on the Musak cd we have.
With a new year, you would think the customers would have resolved to be better people...ok. Maybe not better people, but a little easier to deal with, right? Well, these are lies. Blatant lies.
We have a customer who comes in all the time. In the past he always ordered a drink, such as a latte, iced coffee, etc. He would sit for hours on his computer. That's cool. He purchased something and was in here everyday, almost. Suddenly, that changed. Oh, he comes in alright, still sits here for hours but never buys anything. Ok, he buys a diet coke once in a blue moon, but seeing as though blue moons don't occur that often (or ever?) he is now just mooching.
Now that you have a bit of background on him, I will tell you a story....
Once upon a time, two coworkers were closing on a Friday night. One of them, we'll call Wilma. Wilma went out to wipe off tables in the lobby, including the conference room. (Now, keep in mind, the conference room is open to everyone, you just have to keep the doors open. Oh, sure, you can rent to room for around 40 dollars an hour, but if you are just in there studying, I don't recommend doing this because you want peace and quiet.)
So back to the story. Wilma walks over to the conference room to wipe off tables and notices the doors are closed. So she goes to open them and they are locked. She knew for a fact that no one had rented the room and there were only 3 people in there. One woman looks up and gives her this "I don't know" look and so Wilma looks over at the previously mentioned customer (we'll call him Jimmy Neutron) and he looks at Wilma slightly dumbfounded for a second and then unlocks the door. In a nice tone, Wilma proceeds to explain why the doors cannot be closed and locked and Jimmy starts to get defensive. Wilma then walks away.
Later on that evening, Wilma goes in there again to wipe tables and Jimmy is in there by himself.
Jimmy: How much advance notice do you have to give to reserve the room?
Wilma: Well, sir, you can reserve it at anytime, as long as no one else has reserved it. But I will tell you, it is not worth your money to reserve it just for doing work.
Jimmy: Well, it is too loud out there! This is a coffeeshop!
Wilma: Yes, exactly, sir. This is a public place for people to gather. They do not have to be quiet.
Wilma then proceeds to walk off as Jimmy is getting slightly heated and is rambling on. Wilma didn't want to hear his crap anymore, which is why she walked off as this happened. Uh, The End.
So the thing is guys, coffeeshops are not libraries. Don't ever mistake them for libraries. If you want it silent, go to a library and get your work done there. Coffeeshops have no rules that say they have to be quiet, and frankly, I will laugh in your face if you think that. Get a clue and stop trying to get serious work done here that requires peace and quiet. If you walk into my shop with this thinking, I will make your life difficult without you knowing it. And if you're Jimmy and you aren't purchasing anything and you pull this stunt again, I will kick you out. Seriously, my manager gave me permission to do so.
With a new year, you would think the customers would have resolved to be better people...ok. Maybe not better people, but a little easier to deal with, right? Well, these are lies. Blatant lies.
We have a customer who comes in all the time. In the past he always ordered a drink, such as a latte, iced coffee, etc. He would sit for hours on his computer. That's cool. He purchased something and was in here everyday, almost. Suddenly, that changed. Oh, he comes in alright, still sits here for hours but never buys anything. Ok, he buys a diet coke once in a blue moon, but seeing as though blue moons don't occur that often (or ever?) he is now just mooching.
Now that you have a bit of background on him, I will tell you a story....
Once upon a time, two coworkers were closing on a Friday night. One of them, we'll call Wilma. Wilma went out to wipe off tables in the lobby, including the conference room. (Now, keep in mind, the conference room is open to everyone, you just have to keep the doors open. Oh, sure, you can rent to room for around 40 dollars an hour, but if you are just in there studying, I don't recommend doing this because you want peace and quiet.)
So back to the story. Wilma walks over to the conference room to wipe off tables and notices the doors are closed. So she goes to open them and they are locked. She knew for a fact that no one had rented the room and there were only 3 people in there. One woman looks up and gives her this "I don't know" look and so Wilma looks over at the previously mentioned customer (we'll call him Jimmy Neutron) and he looks at Wilma slightly dumbfounded for a second and then unlocks the door. In a nice tone, Wilma proceeds to explain why the doors cannot be closed and locked and Jimmy starts to get defensive. Wilma then walks away.
Later on that evening, Wilma goes in there again to wipe tables and Jimmy is in there by himself.
Jimmy: How much advance notice do you have to give to reserve the room?
Wilma: Well, sir, you can reserve it at anytime, as long as no one else has reserved it. But I will tell you, it is not worth your money to reserve it just for doing work.
Jimmy: Well, it is too loud out there! This is a coffeeshop!
Wilma: Yes, exactly, sir. This is a public place for people to gather. They do not have to be quiet.
Wilma then proceeds to walk off as Jimmy is getting slightly heated and is rambling on. Wilma didn't want to hear his crap anymore, which is why she walked off as this happened. Uh, The End.
So the thing is guys, coffeeshops are not libraries. Don't ever mistake them for libraries. If you want it silent, go to a library and get your work done there. Coffeeshops have no rules that say they have to be quiet, and frankly, I will laugh in your face if you think that. Get a clue and stop trying to get serious work done here that requires peace and quiet. If you walk into my shop with this thinking, I will make your life difficult without you knowing it. And if you're Jimmy and you aren't purchasing anything and you pull this stunt again, I will kick you out. Seriously, my manager gave me permission to do so.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Merry Christmas!
I want to thank the customers we have that are just plain awesome. I stopped by work last night and a co-worker brought me $10. At first I thought I actually had a secret santa, and that they got really lazy. Then I found out that a customer gave it to everyone. He didn't even want anyone to really know it was him. I managed to get it out of my co-worker who it was, though. :) There are a good 20 customers that just make my day better, and I'm starting to think that is why I keep at that job. So Merry Christmas to my favorites! Thanks for all the smiles, the encouraging words, the thanks, and the patience you exhibit. I wish there was something I could do for all of you. Merry Christmas, guys!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sugar and Spice and everything nice.
No, not little girls.
So I get the pleasure of being on headset the other morning. (Hey, it's better than being on bar.) Well, a woman orders a latte and then proceeds to stumble over her words to ask for extra sweetener in it. So naturally, I ask if she wants a flavor syrup (yes, I said SEErup and not SURrup.). Her response was as follows, "I want that artificial sugar." (Woman, do you understand how vague that is?) So I ask her what kind she wants and she replies with "I want that yeller stuff." How do you know you want that if you don't even know what it is called?
I'm constantly baffled by how people can't be bothered to remember what they like, but insist that they get it exactly how they like it. When I ask them things like "Do you want cream or sugar?", they huff and puff. But if i were to forget that or if they were given the wrong drink (say, a black coffee), they would immediately come back and complain and insist on a free drink. Why not go that extra mile and remember what you like, remember how much of it you like, and remember what it is called that you put in your drink.
Actual conversation I had the other day in the drive-thru.
Me: Hey what can I do for you?
Customer: I want that marshamellah mocha.
Me: ok, what else can I do for you?
C: Oh, with extra marshmellah!
Me: Alright, did you want extra SEErup or extra toppings.
C: MARSHMELLAH! I JUST WANT MARSHMELLAH!
Me: OK MA'AM, BUT. DO. YOU. WANT. THE. TOPPINGS. OR. THE. SYRUP. THAT. GOES. IN. THE. CUP?
C: oh, the toppin's I guess?
Me: Ok, sounds GREAT. We'll have that for you at the window.
So I get the pleasure of being on headset the other morning. (Hey, it's better than being on bar.) Well, a woman orders a latte and then proceeds to stumble over her words to ask for extra sweetener in it. So naturally, I ask if she wants a flavor syrup (yes, I said SEErup and not SURrup.). Her response was as follows, "I want that artificial sugar." (Woman, do you understand how vague that is?) So I ask her what kind she wants and she replies with "I want that yeller stuff." How do you know you want that if you don't even know what it is called?
I'm constantly baffled by how people can't be bothered to remember what they like, but insist that they get it exactly how they like it. When I ask them things like "Do you want cream or sugar?", they huff and puff. But if i were to forget that or if they were given the wrong drink (say, a black coffee), they would immediately come back and complain and insist on a free drink. Why not go that extra mile and remember what you like, remember how much of it you like, and remember what it is called that you put in your drink.
Actual conversation I had the other day in the drive-thru.
Me: Hey what can I do for you?
Customer: I want that marshamellah mocha.
Me: ok, what else can I do for you?
C: Oh, with extra marshmellah!
Me: Alright, did you want extra SEErup or extra toppings.
C: MARSHMELLAH! I JUST WANT MARSHMELLAH!
Me: OK MA'AM, BUT. DO. YOU. WANT. THE. TOPPINGS. OR. THE. SYRUP. THAT. GOES. IN. THE. CUP?
C: oh, the toppin's I guess?
Me: Ok, sounds GREAT. We'll have that for you at the window.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
For Sale!
How hard is it to understand the following: Buy 2 $20 gift sets and get them for $30...?
Well, apparently it is as hard as learning Korean. A woman and her daughter come into my store and they're looking at our gift set. I proceed to go up to them and tell them that they can get 2 gift sets for $30 if both of the sets are $20. So they come up to the front, one $20 set in hand and then a canister with a pound of coffee. The canister is about $14, the pound of coffee $15. I proceed to tell her that the canister and coffee were not part of the deal because it isn't even a gift set, let alone $20. I get the most confused look from the mother as she meanders over to the giftsets and chooses another one. She then brings up a second giftset and even looks at the bottom before getting to the counter, and hands it to me. I turn it over and it says $25. How in the world is this confusing for her? Her poor daughter looked ready to bolt. After 10 minutes of trying to help her out, she decided to just buy the $20 giftset, pound of coffee, and canister. She walked out of there $58 in the hole. Thanks for being dumb and making use of our deals.
Well, apparently it is as hard as learning Korean. A woman and her daughter come into my store and they're looking at our gift set. I proceed to go up to them and tell them that they can get 2 gift sets for $30 if both of the sets are $20. So they come up to the front, one $20 set in hand and then a canister with a pound of coffee. The canister is about $14, the pound of coffee $15. I proceed to tell her that the canister and coffee were not part of the deal because it isn't even a gift set, let alone $20. I get the most confused look from the mother as she meanders over to the giftsets and chooses another one. She then brings up a second giftset and even looks at the bottom before getting to the counter, and hands it to me. I turn it over and it says $25. How in the world is this confusing for her? Her poor daughter looked ready to bolt. After 10 minutes of trying to help her out, she decided to just buy the $20 giftset, pound of coffee, and canister. She walked out of there $58 in the hole. Thanks for being dumb and making use of our deals.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Strange people.
It is not a rule, but it is annoying and weird nonetheless. This morning, I came to work at 6:30am. I would say it was about 20 degrees Farenheit. I was super cold. You should've been super cold. So why did you order a blended drink? You weirdos. Before 9am, I made 7 blended drinks! SEVEN! Making drinks like that does not make me any warmer, so I would like you to refrain from ordering those in the winter, especially before the sun has even come up. It is just weird and obnoxious and I just don't like it. It also messes up the flow of drinks. I'll be running right along making hot drink after hot drink, keeping up a system when all of a sudden, I have to go over to the other side of the bar and make a blended drink. You have thus created a back-up in drinks, all because you had to have that frozen drink on a freezing morning. Selfish, I tell ya! Selfish!
watch your language!
Rule number 10: Don't add unneccessary words.
All too often I hear "Can I get a black coffee with cream and sugar?" Please, tell me what is wrong with this statement. Ok, you took too long, so I will tell you. There is nothing black about your coffee if it has cream and sugar in it (except that moment right before I add the cream.). These extra words get me confused and then I sound stupid trying to decipher them. I don't like to sound stupid...and I'm sure my co-workers feel the same way. I would rather YOU sound stupid. It's more fun that way.
Other things you should not add extra words to include, but are not limited to the following:
Mocha (do not add latte or cappuccino)
Chai (latte is fine. do not add tea or infusion to this. its too much. we know what we have.)
Frankly, those are the only ones I can think of, but the point is to NOT add things you do not need? Get it? Good.
All too often I hear "Can I get a black coffee with cream and sugar?" Please, tell me what is wrong with this statement. Ok, you took too long, so I will tell you. There is nothing black about your coffee if it has cream and sugar in it (except that moment right before I add the cream.). These extra words get me confused and then I sound stupid trying to decipher them. I don't like to sound stupid...and I'm sure my co-workers feel the same way. I would rather YOU sound stupid. It's more fun that way.
Other things you should not add extra words to include, but are not limited to the following:
Mocha (do not add latte or cappuccino)
Chai (latte is fine. do not add tea or infusion to this. its too much. we know what we have.)
Frankly, those are the only ones I can think of, but the point is to NOT add things you do not need? Get it? Good.
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