you decide.

Instead of beginning with a rule, in honor of Thanksgiving, I will start with how my Thanksgiving started.

I opened this morning and about around, say, 7:45am, the store gets a phone call. This is what went down:

Me: What can I do for you today?
Man: Yeah, this is James (named changed for anonymity....ish.) I need one of those coffee boxes to take home. Dark roast. Yeah, and I also need just a box of bakery. You guys have muffins? Oh, and throw in some cheese danish too!---(I'd like you to know we don't carry those.)--
Me: Alright. Yes, we have 3 kinds of muffins available today, how many of each kind do you want?
Man: I don't have time to think about that right now! Just whatever. I'll be there in 5 minutes.

tick tock. tick tock.

James walks in. How did I know? Well, for one, I'd recognize that creepy, loud voice anywhere. And two, I'd recognize the walk of a man who says they don't have time to think about how many of something they would like to purchase.

So my co-worker goes to prepare a bakery box and asks James how many of each thing he wants. This is basically the conversation that followed:

James: I don't know. Just whatever.
Co-worker: Well, I don't want to give you 5 bakery items and then you have 20 people there to give them to. Or vice versa, I don't want to give you 20 bakery for only 5 people. So what do you want? How about I just see how many items I can fit in one box?
James: Sure, whatever. They are all fat.
Co-worker: (with a somewhat shocked look on her face) Well...it IS Thanksgiving.
James: Yeah, they're still all fat. Everyone is fat.

When something like this goes down, there are two things to keep in mind:
1) You will be given the most expensive bakery we have.
and 2) You will be given decaf if you order an espresso-based drink.

And to James, I say: I hope someone in your family slashes your tires, because you, sir, are a douche-bag.