I had to quote Death Cab for a minute there. They are currently playing on the Musak cd we have.
With a new year, you would think the customers would have resolved to be better people...ok. Maybe not better people, but a little easier to deal with, right? Well, these are lies. Blatant lies.
We have a customer who comes in all the time. In the past he always ordered a drink, such as a latte, iced coffee, etc. He would sit for hours on his computer. That's cool. He purchased something and was in here everyday, almost. Suddenly, that changed. Oh, he comes in alright, still sits here for hours but never buys anything. Ok, he buys a diet coke once in a blue moon, but seeing as though blue moons don't occur that often (or ever?) he is now just mooching.
Now that you have a bit of background on him, I will tell you a story....
Once upon a time, two coworkers were closing on a Friday night. One of them, we'll call Wilma. Wilma went out to wipe off tables in the lobby, including the conference room. (Now, keep in mind, the conference room is open to everyone, you just have to keep the doors open. Oh, sure, you can rent to room for around 40 dollars an hour, but if you are just in there studying, I don't recommend doing this because you want peace and quiet.)
So back to the story. Wilma walks over to the conference room to wipe off tables and notices the doors are closed. So she goes to open them and they are locked. She knew for a fact that no one had rented the room and there were only 3 people in there. One woman looks up and gives her this "I don't know" look and so Wilma looks over at the previously mentioned customer (we'll call him Jimmy Neutron) and he looks at Wilma slightly dumbfounded for a second and then unlocks the door. In a nice tone, Wilma proceeds to explain why the doors cannot be closed and locked and Jimmy starts to get defensive. Wilma then walks away.
Later on that evening, Wilma goes in there again to wipe tables and Jimmy is in there by himself.
Jimmy: How much advance notice do you have to give to reserve the room?
Wilma: Well, sir, you can reserve it at anytime, as long as no one else has reserved it. But I will tell you, it is not worth your money to reserve it just for doing work.
Jimmy: Well, it is too loud out there! This is a coffeeshop!
Wilma: Yes, exactly, sir. This is a public place for people to gather. They do not have to be quiet.
Wilma then proceeds to walk off as Jimmy is getting slightly heated and is rambling on. Wilma didn't want to hear his crap anymore, which is why she walked off as this happened. Uh, The End.
So the thing is guys, coffeeshops are not libraries. Don't ever mistake them for libraries. If you want it silent, go to a library and get your work done there. Coffeeshops have no rules that say they have to be quiet, and frankly, I will laugh in your face if you think that. Get a clue and stop trying to get serious work done here that requires peace and quiet. If you walk into my shop with this thinking, I will make your life difficult without you knowing it. And if you're Jimmy and you aren't purchasing anything and you pull this stunt again, I will kick you out. Seriously, my manager gave me permission to do so.
