Save the inuendos for you bedroom, please!

More often than I'd like, many men have made unnecessary sexual innuendos. Oh, don't get me wrong, there have been women too (geez, the amount of "That's what she said" jokes said by us behind the counter are through the roof), but the men...oh...the men...they have made some memorable moments. I'll start with today. A man came through the drive-thru and said it was his first experience at our establishment. He then followed it with a "I'm a virgin...so be gentle..." in a slightly less-than-normal tone. Not bad. Except for the awkward faces and the "Did you make it with looooove?" comment. But really, that is not the worst one. I'm actually surprised I haven't told this tale. Once upon a time....ok, just kidding...this is an actual drive-thru conversation. (I'm skipping to the good part)

Customer: Yeah, and can I get a slice of banana bread with that?
Me: Really? Are you sure?
Customer: Well, what would you recommend?
Me: Well we have a really good almond peach bread that's moist, like a pineapple-upside down cake. It's probably my favorite right now.
Customer: Well, I like moist things......
Me: Uh..sir, I don't like the direction this conversation is going so we'll have your total at the window.
(at this point, the other girl I was working with is laughing in a slightly disgusted way. I proceed to ask her to take his money and hand him his purchases because I'm grossed out. But naturally, I am curious to put a face to the comment so I nonchalantly walk past the window. Of course, it it not some sexy Brad Pitt look-a-like...it is a grade-A creeper.)

Oh, the things I do and the people I deal with for this job. I'm lucky I love my co-workers, otherwise I would've left a long time ago.

Herp Derp.

Occasionally we offer a coupon for a BOGO or a $2 medium drink or something like that. But it is a coupon. It is not an event. Just like any other coupon, you have to give proof that you have it either by showing it to us on your phone or bringing the physical coupon. It even says on the bottom "Print out or show on your phone". So why do people think they can get it without showing me either one? Sure, if you know about it then you've received the coupon and I may just be nice and give it to you...if you tell me about it before you order. Tonight, I had a customer who didn't understand this, apparently. Here is how it went:

Me: Hey what can I get for you?
Customer: A medium hot mocha.
Me: Ok, a medium hot mocha. I will have your total for you at the window (because I was busy making drinks and wasn't able to get to a register to get the price)
Me: Hey. That will be 3.98.
(customer has an awkward look on her face and hands me card.)
Me: Do you need a receipt?
Customer: No
(I close the window and swipe her card and get her receipt)
Me: (handing her everything) Here you go.
Customer: I thought medium drinks were $2?
Me: They are only if you present us with a coupon either printed or on your phone.
Customer:....uh...oh....well it's FINE I guess... (drives off)

What I don't get is why a red flag didn't go up BEFORE I swiped her card. I told her the total at the window and was there long enough for her to mention that...but NO, it didn't dawn on her until after I had run the transaction through. Sorry, but I'm not going to bend over backwards to get you two dollars back. Especially since she used a card. I MIGHT have been willing to give it to her for $2 if she hadn't been such a herp derp, but frankly, I'm tired of everything. And this month, at least, I'm gonna need you all to keep the herp derp to a very very small minimum.