Muggles.

I just really wanted to name this post muggles because all I could think about was Harry Potter's uncle and how much this customer really reminds me of him: large, unpleasant, and always trying to get something for nothing.

We have this customer who is just an unpleasant person. Period. My first experience with her, she got complained about how we didn't have Diet Coke and how she hated the drink she got. I apologized and told her if she wanted something done about that she could write to the head of the company and voice her opinion. Later on that same evening, she inquired about working at our establishment. He reason for this? She lived close. Nevermind the fact that she is mean, unpleasant, and honestly...couldn't ever keep up. After this encounter with her, I didn't see her all that much...until the last few weeks or so.

This woman spends more time in our shop than most of the people that work there. I have seen her come in there at 8am, leave for a bit and come back and stay til close. A lot of the closers have complained about how she takes 15 minutes to pack up and does it after we've closed, but I hadn't had a problem with her...until recently. First of all, I normally don't have a problem with people who come in there just for the internet every once in a while....but damn woman! You practically live there. The kicker? She comes up to the end of the bar with her stupid cup and just stands there holding her cup out. Every time, I want to slap her cup out of her hands and walk away. She thinks she is entitled to everything, it seems. But she doesn't buy much of anything except for some food here and a drink there. Not enough to warrant her staying there for so long and spreading out her crap everywhere (including her crackers and 2 liter of Diet Pepsi).

The other night, as I was closing with a fellow co-worker, we gave the usual 5-minutes-to-close warning. She sat there talking with someone. Forever. THEN at 10pm, she took it upon herself to take a 10-minute long poop, forcing us to wait for her. Then she had to pack up. Which took forever. THEN she left and sat her bag of trash on top of the trashcan, not bothering to push it down. All I could think about doing was shoving that bag of trash down her throat. I'm sorry, but that is unacceptable behavior for anyone, but especially for someone who doesn't even help our business. A few nights later, I was thrown over the edge. After telling her we close at 10, then giving her a 10 minute warning, I see she has not moved or started packing up her stuff. I walked (maybe even stomped) in there and very sternly said "Ma'am, we are now closed and you need to pack up your stuff and get out." and with that, I turned out almost all the lights and went in the back.

I'm hoping she is now afraid of my wrath. Too bad I can't just take out my wand and say "STUPEFY!". Wouldn't want the muggles to find out about my powers....

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

The following is a prime example of how the people in the world of retail are starting to revolt against pretentious customers:

(in the form of a letter to a customer)

Dear complete asshole customer that forgot your debit card because you were on the phone and came back 2 hours later accusing me of stealing it,

It was in my drawer, but now it's in the trash can.

Love,
Employee

Now, I hope we have all learned a little lesson in being nice to the retail employees. Go forth and conquer!