Nu Uh

You know, lately, I haven't been nearly as frustrated at the customers at my establishment. I mean, sure, there are plenty of them that are completely clueless to the point of being hilarious, but none that were really that memorable for me. Except for last night. Last night, I nearly ran after a man to smash his face into the floor (yes, a bit harsh, but that is what I felt).

So I'm on bar and I hear a man walk up, my co-worker was turned around for a second so I greeted him. From this first interaction with him, he already seemed like a snooty (for lack of a better word) customer. So he orders. I'm really good at listening, so I'm pretty sure this is verbatim.

His order: "i would like two shots of espresso in a tall cup with about (demonstrates with his fingers) 3oz of steamed soy"
Simple, right? Really sir, that is two ounces short of being a small soy latte, but whatever. So I'm making his drink and I ask him if he wants froth and he says "yeah! sure". So here I am, about to pour a legit 3 ounces of soy into his two shots when I hear him exclaim loudly,
"UH UH UH UH UH!"
"Yes?"
"I need to pour the soy in myself"
"Ok, do you want me to just give you a separate cup?"
"Yes, I'm very picky about how much I want in there."
"Ok, well here you go, did you need a lid for that?"
"No"
about 30 seconds later...
"Excuse, but I need a lid for mt ESPRESSO"

He left after that but I was about ready to hop the bar, tackle him and punch him til he bled (think "A Christmas Story"). Let me count the ways this transaction was wrong on his part:
1. do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to the employees at this establishment as if they are your 4 year old child. That does not get results. That makes adults want to punch you.
2. When you order that specifically (with THREE ounces of STEAMED soy) and neglect to say you have to do it yourself, the employees are inclined to make it as you have asked.
3. When asked if you want a lid, accept it if you already know you want one. Please don't bother us as we are cleaning to ask that question. I should've just said "Sorry, lost your chance at receiving a lid at this moment. Please try again in 20 minutes."

I at least gave him half-caf when I first saw/heard his order. I only wish I had given his pretentious little ass full on decaf. Oh, regrets.